Lincolnshire

Centre for

Grief &

Loss

Counselling & Training Services

19 Carlton Mews, The Carlton Centre,

Lincoln, LN2 4FJ

Tel: 01522 546168

Fax: 01522 546172

Email: email@lcgl.org.uk

Charity Reg. No. 1100421

Bereavement - Things that may help - A guide for Young People

Go to the LCGL Home Page

Why?

When someone important to you dies you have lots of different emotions to deal with.

 

After the initial shock has passed you may have a mixture of difficult, and possibly conflicting, feelings.  These may include:

 

Disbelief

Emptiness

Loneliness

Relief

Fear

Anger

Hurt

Guilt

Confusion

Sadness

 

Rejection

 

It is important that you are able to express your feelings and emotions, but keep yourself and others safe.

 

You may be able to identify with some, or all, of the above statements. There are no easy answers and no short cuts but sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who cares about you may well help and make you feel less alone.  It will also help the person to understand a little of how it is for you.

 

Your feelings will come and go. Do remember it is quite OK and perfectly natural to go out with your friends, do things that you enjoy and even have fun! Both tears and laughter are wonderfully healing.  Physical changes are common too in grief: loss of appetite, not being able to sleep (in spite of being tired), lack of energy and difficulty in concentration.

 

All these things will return to how they used to be, in time, but meanwhile don't struggle in silence.  Do tell someone at home, your teacher or tutor, how you are feeling.

If you don't want to talk, it may help you to put your feelings on paper - either in words, pictures or symbols.  Alternatively you may choose to use the telephone to talk to someone at Childline or the Samaritans. Many young people find calls to these organisations helpful. The telephone numbers are in the "Contacts" section of this web site.

 

Life is full of change - change which is out of your control, can be very difficult to deal with, especially if it is due to the death of someone important to you.

 

Gradually you will adjust to the absence of the person who has died and the changes that their death has caused.  If that person was someone who you loved, or someone who was very special to you, it is hard to believe that you will ever feel better about things. The sadness and difficult feelings will lessen and life will gradually get easier.

 

You will always remember the person who has died.  Some people find it helps to talk to the person who has died either silently in their head or out loud.  If you find yourself doing this it's OK - you are not going crazy.

 

Memories

 

Good memories are treasures that we can keep forever.

 

There are lots of things we can do to keep those memories .... look at photographs, talk about the person who has died, draw pictures, keep precious things and go to special places.

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